Thursday, 7 October 2010

missing someone

hey dear. do you know i miss you. it's a complete lie if i said i don't know what went wrong between us. maybe it's just wrong. big word that we haven't realizes or more accurately tried to ignore the warning alarm that had been screaming like hell in the back of our mind saying that we are making a big mistake. i know we just wanted things to just work out. it's not much i say. but some things are just won't work out. they just couldn't. no matter how hard we try. if it's not meant to be then it is not meant to be. yeah deep down in me, i am still trying. trying to somehow magically turns the table. make the situations become better in a blink of an eye by just won't talk about it. lack of courage i might say. you are my biggest fear. you are my biggest threat. you are my biggest enemy. but still how hard i try. you. yeah you dear mister seem to have your own permanent residence visa inside my head and starting to build your own kingdom on my land. i think i'm not gonna beg you to get the hell out of my life but i'm begging myself to let myself out from you as you had long thrown yourself out from me. who am i to you, who are you to me. it doesn't matter now. in fact it doesn't matter long ago because you are never mine and i am never yours. so, we'll see how much this thrill of silence will last. once the balloon pops. everything will be on the table.

footnote: i might get killed for saying this. dear mister. i miss you. i'm sorry if i ever hurt you in any way. if i have never be a good partner for you. if i only brings you grieve instead of joy. if nuisance is the only present i get for you and if you had to force yourself to believe i'm your partner by lying to yourself into liking me. i'm sorry. but yeah we are not meant together and boy, dear mister as i felt sorry for you, you must felt guilty for me. yeah you should.

No comments: