1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
3. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
4. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?
5. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
6. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
7. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
8. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (sound it out...)
9. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
10. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
11. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
12. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? ...